I Was Ashamed of Feeling Nervous

2 minute read 

When I was about 20 years old, I remember starting to feel really nervous when playing concerts. I was in my second year of college and just landed quite a prestigious trial in an orchestra in Prague. Around that time I distinctly remember my teacher coming to me before my college recital and announcing that the husband of the first oboe player from said orchestra, also an oboist themselves, was in the audience and really interested to hear me. I don’t even know how I finished the performance, I was so freaked out.

yoga for musicians'

I Felt Like I Had To Prove Myself

You see, up until then, music was something that I excelled at, I enjoyed playing concerts. That was my thing. But once I hit my late teens and got my first job, something shifted, and the fact that this was going to be the way I made my living weighed on me heavily. Instead of viewing the fact that I had a job at such a young age as something to be proud of, it made me feel like I had to constantly prove myself. Prove that I was worthy of it to other people.

Gathering Courage

Fast forward about 9 (!) years and I finally gathered the courage to ask a friend for some recommendations on how to manage this. And the rest is history, I started working with a performer’s coach which led to me diving deep into the performance wellbeing realm and, not long after that, starting to help musicians myself by becoming a yoga teacher.

A Nine Year Struggle

Now let’s get something straight. Nerves or performance anxiety are completely normal occurrences. They can affect musicians no matter what stage they are at in their career. They’re part of the process, part of the human experience even, and usually they happen because you want to do well because you care which is a good thing.

A Free Toolkit

It took me nine whole years before I was able to ask for help. Nine years of struggling in silence. That’s not something that I’d wish on anyone.. So I’ve decided to put together a Musicians’ Yoga Performance Anxiety Toolkit which you can get completely free when you sign up to my email list below.